*This article originally appeared on Babble but I feel it is still very relevant, so I am reproducing it here.

It's 2016: Why Are We Still Not Talking About Menopause?

 They say that 50 is the new 40 etc… but what does that really mean?  

I’ve been taking stock of both my inner life and my physical being lately.  I look down at the skin on my arms and I think, does that skin really belong to me?  Where did that smooth skin go?  How did this happen without me noticing?  I put on a dress or a top I haven’t worn in a while and I know right away it is wrong, too youthful. 

A few months ago I woke up feeling hot, as if a current of heat was surging through my body. I thought, ah, I understand now.  This could be the start of menopause.  I knew 55 was late.  I don’t know why I was surprised by it, but I was.  I‘d lately been unable to sleep through the night and during the day sometimes had found it hard to focus.  I felt like I was in a fog with a layer of mesh between myself and the world. Sometimes my heart would beat too fast, like I’d had a surge of adrenalin.  I wondered if this was a normal symptom of menopause or did I have post traumatic stress syndrome from the lava that nearly covered our town last year.

I marveled over how much I used to accomplish in one day.  Now I just didn’t have the energy. Should I give in to this feeling and slow down or power through the way I’d always done.

 I found I knew nothing about menopause beyond the existence of hot flashes.  Why hadn’t any of my friends talked about it? Surely some of them were through it already since I knew it could start as early as 40.  Pregnancy, birth control and fertility were now mainstream topics.  Why was menopause still considered embarrassing?  

I trolled the internet for articles on menopause and its stages, looking for a way to embrace this new stage of my life that matched my personal approach to health and wellness, which is eating healthy but not too strictly, moderate alcohol intake combined with yoga, walking, swimming and biking.

 Ironically, I happened upon a book called The Wisdom of Menopause by Christiane Northrup M.D. at the chiropractor’s office.  I laughed at myself because I couldn’t wait to get into bed to read it that night.  Here, I thought, could be the answer my questions.

I learned I’m now in a stage called peri-menopause, which is the period before the monthly menses stop completely, when they taper off after becoming irregular. One of the first things the book mentioned was how during this stage, as the hormones in a woman’s body fluctuate, the brain is “rewiring” and how it can be a very creative time in a woman’s life if open to it. I was glad to read this because until then I’d only heard about women going through “the change” acting hormonal and crazy.

It rang true to me because after 20 years of taking care of my children, my husband, running an internet Hawaiian Flower business and a household, I had lately begun to reconsider my priorities.  What did I want for myself in this next chapter of my life? What did I want to do for fun?  I found I didn’t know and it was disturbing.  I’ve had many enjoyable times with my family but mostly my life has revolved around their activities.  Now, with my son away at college and my daughter driving, I was suddenly left at loose ends with blocks of afternoon time to fill.  I have tried to remember who I was before I became a wife and mother and found that I am now a completely different person and will need to be intuitive and look inside myself to discover the answer to that these questions organically.

Another book I’m finding helpful is “Natural Choices for Women’s Health” by Dr. Laurie Steelsmith.  She discusses how the “secrets of natural and Chinese medicine can create a lifetime of wellness”. 

Steelsmith presents both HRT (hormone replacement therapy) or the combined use of nutrition, vitamins, herbs and herbal supplements with a healthy diet as two alternative approaches to menopause and peri-menopause to counter the mood swings, lack of energy,  hot flashes and loss of sleep that accompany it.  Western Medicine “diagnoses” menopause as a lack of estrogen.   HRT seeks to counteract the effects by using hormones either synthetically created in a lab or derived from animals (specifically from the urine of pregnant horses) to scientifically replace and manage a woman’s hormone levels.  In recent years though, there has been controversy about HRT.  In a study done by the Women’s Health Initiative, synthetic and animal derived hormones were linked to heart disease, strokes and breast cancer.

Steelsmith recommends that if you choose to go the HRT route, to choose hormones “that are both bio-identical and natural” and that “each woman has individual needs and must decide for herself whether the risks are worth the benefits”. 

The women in my yoga class have been good sources of information too and have made me feel more comfortable with what is happening with my body.

One woman has had favorable results using a topical estrogen cream.

The owner of my local natural foods store recommended making a tea of red clover or alfalfa to lessen symptoms of menopause such as hot flashes.  He explained these herbs contain phytoestrogens or plant based estrogens that mimic the estrogen hormones naturally present in our bodies until the advent of menopause.

My personal physician has recommended taking a women’s multivitamin and a calcium magnesium supplement to combat the loss of bone density that occurs during menopause

After gathering information from the internet, books, friends and my physician, my personal choice (for now) will be to decline HRT and proceed through peri-menopause using herbs and supplements, combined with a balanced diet and exercise.  

I will re-evaluate how I’m feeling in six months, but for now I am comfortable with this new knowledge culled from all of these different sources.  I am ready to fully embrace this journey to the next stage of my life and welcome the positive changes such as renewed energy (once I’m through it) and creativity.

I hope to set a good example for my daughter by openly talking about menopause, so that someday when the time comes for her she won’t feel the dread and shock but will feel it is all part of the circle of life.