Lava Land Part 28: Healing

By Jill Steele

Author "Blood on the Orchids"
Owner Hawaiian Magic Tropical Flowers

The mint is thriving.

We are composting again, and now it's been three weeks. The other day when I opened the barrel, a familiar fragrance wafted up and reminded me of my Kapoho garden. Now, I look forward to bringing the kitchen scraps out,  where it used to be a chore.  I stick my face down close to the composting barrel and anticipate the earthy smell.

 A month ago, a friend invited me to his home in Seaview to make bagels. I was not emotionally ready to go there, and so I kept putting him off.  Yesterday, I made the journey to Puna and on the way I stopped to do a NIA dance class at the Hawaiian Sanctuary. I saw friends I hadn't seen for a few months and I was happy to see that classes and events are still being held at this great community gathering space. I had forgotten how it felt to be there, surrounded by the beauty of the jungle with peacocks strolling by the buildings. 

Part of our daily routine.

Lately I’ve felt disconnected to Puna, feeling caught up in our new Hilo life.  There is a different energy in Hilo.  It’s a small town, but there is a faster pace. My heart still lives in Kapoho, even though I can no longer get there except in my dreams. When I lay awake at night, sometimes I allow myself to open my gate (decorated with fishing floats and combs found on beach walks) and walk through the rooms of my home. 

During the day, I actively strive to move forward. You might think I’m torturing myself with my daydreams (or night dreams, in this case), but my art therapy teacher says we all grieve differently, and the most important thing for healing is to go through the process and not supress our feelings.

By Jill Steele

Author "Blood on the Orchids"
Owner Hawaiian Magic Tropical Flowers

Lava Land Part 27: Symbols

By Jill Steele

Author "Blood on the Orchids"
Owner Hawaiian Magic Tropical Flowers

Finding Symbols Everywhere 

Harry Kim wants to reopen Pohoiki Beach Park, the true heart of Puna, as soon as the infrastructure (roads, electricity, water) is in place, provided that the lava doesn’t begin  flowing again. As soon as it opens, the community can begin healing by reconnecting with the ocean and each other. For people like us, who have lost a home, land and belongings, it will be a partial healing, but a healing nonetheless.

Week two of yoga. The word/idea of the week is the concept of enough. My yoga instructor said, “Ask yourselves this question. How do we know when we’ve had enough?” She gave us an example. She was at a party with a slip-n-slide and asked herself if it was time to stop, rationalizing that though she and her kids were having fun, there was the possibility of someone being injured if they continued to play on it. She asked the class to reflect on how we know when we've had enough.

A new "tag" on the ground at Honolii

I am reflecting, using the concept of enough, as I replace belongings.  What should I replace? I have two pairs of yoga pants. I used to have five. Is two enough? Only my favorites made it into my go bag. When I say the word of the week is enough, it prompts my husband to say Dayenu, referring to a song of gratitude we sing each year at our Passover seder table,

Ironically, Rosh Hashanah, began this past Sunday. A new year with new beginnings and a chance for spiritual rebirth.  We dipped apples in honey with our former Kapoho neighbors to symbolically express our hope for a sweet year.

By Jill Steele

Author "Blood on the Orchids"
Owner Hawaiian Magic Tropical Flowers

Lava Land Part 26: A Shift

By Jill Steele

Author "Blood on the Orchids
Owner Hawaiian Magic Tropical Flowers

Lavacado Fruit Stand

I felt an emotional shift this week that began with a yoga class.  I finally made it to one. My teacher, Rachel, announced that the word of the day was fermenting and used the process of preparing kimchee as a metaphor for yoga and its lingering positive effects on our physical and mental state.  I felt so good for the entire day after the class and the next day as well, so ….  why did it take me so long to get to one? I went to three yoga classes this week, one of them with my son, who is going through his own emotional post lava journey.

While searching for my umbrella, I found my placards under the driver’s seat of my car. We were given colored placards that verified our residency in Kapoho Beachlots during the time of the lava, when certain roads were restricted.   I felt hesitant about removing them from the car, wondering if I might need them to see my property sometime in the near future? I think others may feel the same, because I still see them displayed on car dashboards in store parking lots and on cars of surfers at Honolii.

  

Mango Pie

I returned to art therapy this week after a gentle push from a friend.  One of my former Kapoho neighbors told the class a story about her experience at Pahoa ice cream shop.  She and the server swapped lava stories. The server said that serving ice cream keeps her grounded.  “You can’t serve ice cream when you’re crying,” she told her.   My friend, a school teacher,  has adopted this as her mantra for when she feels emotional during the school day.  

 At the Hilo Farmer’s Market, when I picked up a mango to check for ripeness, its sweet fragrance, unexpectedly, made me cry. This is the time of year my husband would have been bringing bucketfuls of them home from a property he maintained in Kapoho Farm Lots.  We ate them fresh, made mango smoothies, salsa and pie. We also gave many to our neighbors.   My kids created the Lavacado Fruit Stand next to our plywood shed on Kapoho Beach Road and sold the surplus each year. One year, we spent a night at the Hapuna Beach Prince hotel with their earnings. 

All of the above experiences add up to healing.  I am gaining clarity and feeling happier and more positive about the future.

By Jill Steele

Author "Blood on the Orchids
Owner Hawaiian Magic Tropical Flowers