Lava Land Part 25: What Now?

By Jill Steele

Author "Blood on the Orchids
Owner Hawaiian Magic Tropical Flowers

Honolii

As I prepared for Hurricane Lane, I noticed my dog Luna watching me remove everything from the lanai.  I pictured a thought bubble over her head saying, “What now? Are we moving again?” When it began raining, she hid in the back bedroom even though I had, by that time, started cooking dinner.  She didn’t want to risk being put outside. 

Last week we purchased a sofa. Now our family can come together other than only at mealtimes. A dining table would complete our home.  We are waiting to find the right table but we need to find one before Thanksgiving.

I let myself slide into a depression this week, after a day spent making lists and then valuing the contents of my Kapoho house. How do you put a real value on dishes and goblets that have been passed down from your mother? I know how fortunate we were and are, but I am still grieving.  I have a habit of wondering at any given moment, what I’d be doing if I were still in Kapoho.  This was true, especially during the three days of heavy rain we just experienced.  Most probably we would have lost power and cell phone service, but we would have been fine, reading and taking walks in the rain.

We are walking a lot despite the stormy weather.  With the heavy rainfall, the Honolii Stream became a raging river and small landslides partially blocked the roads. We are seeing things we would not have if we were still in Kapoho.  Mother nature is constantly at work changing the island. The beach at Honolii has shifted due to the storm and there is a sandbar just past the shallows that has changed the shape of the waves, causing them to barrel. The surfers are not waiting for the water to clear and are riding waves in the brown water filled with trash, mud, pesticides and literally, crap.  Logs and uprooted trees float in the deep water next to them. I've overheard conversations while standing on the cliff gazing out at the waves.  The surfers aren't complaining about the changes to their beach and the waves. They are getting out there to experience this new phenomenon. I need to take a lesson from the surfers and embrace our new life.

By Jill Steele

Author "Blood on the Orchids
Owner Hawaiian Magic Tropical Flowers

Lava Land Part 24: Is The Rainbow a Sign?

By Jill Steele

Author "Blood on the Orchids
Owner Hawaiian Magic Tropical Flowers

Cape Kumukahi Lighthouse and Kapoho

This week Paradise Helicopters offered me a free opportunity to view the eruption.  When I saw the size of the helicopter, I almost changed my mind.  It looked like my childhood memory of George Jetson’s cartoon aero-car.  I hadn’t realized it would be so small. I had a middle seat, which was the space equivalent of the center back seat of a two seater truck. I confess, when we first took off, I had a moment of fear and claustrophobia.  The pilot was sensitive, respectful and accommodating after I told him I’d lost my home.  He took us through Hilo, past the macadamia nut fields and Kaloli Point before heading towards Cape Kumukahi and Green Mountain, the only landmarks left as identifiers for where my house and our community once was.

The span of the lava flow is massive.  Beautiful, green Puna all black now with small, random areas of green. I have spent hours on the internet looking at pictures, trying to figure out where my home was but now I have seen the devastation with my own eyes. I know it sounds strange but I like to imagine my home intact under the lava as if in another dimension.  I am grateful to Paradise Helicopters for offering all of us who lost homes the opportunity to find closure.  I have come to the conclusion, now that I have seen the lava from both a boat and a helicopter,  that the best way to find closure is to continue planning for the future and to make where we are feel like home.  Our tour ended over the Wailuku River (Hawaii’s longest river at 28 miles long) as our pilot pointed out its numerous waterfalls.

Our house is in the center at the end of the rainbow.

Two hurricanes have been headed our way in the past few weeks and relatives have called to check in with us.  I tell them we are not worried, prepared, but not worried.  After all, where did all of our worrying about the lava lead? What wasted emotion.

I saw a rainbow above our house as I walked Luna yesterday morning, and seeing it made me feel hopeful for the future. Writing about our emotional journey is therapy and I will continue until I’ve no more words.  I am looking forward to that day. 

By Jill Steele

Author "Blood on the Orchids
Owner Hawaiian Magic Tropical Flowers

Lava Land Part 23: Hope

By Jill Steele

Author "Blood on the Orchids
Owner Hawaiian Magic Tropical Flowers

Last week, my daughter said, “Your birthdays are coming up.  What have you planned?”

“Nothing yet.  I haven’t thought about it,” I replied.  

With all that has happened in the past three months, (Has it really been that long?) our birthdays, which fall within three days of each other, had crept up on us.  Monday was my husband’s birthday and our daughter surprised us by flying home and appearing in the driveway with our son before 7 a.m.  Being together again as a family was something to celebrate! It felt good to show our daughter how we had taken our rental house, termed by locals “the haunted house”, into a home. Besides our daughters visit, my favorite birthday gift was the lomi lomi (massage) stick my husband made from beach driftwood, to replace the one that is under the lava with our home. I cried when I unwrapped it.

lomi lomi (massage) stick

Yesterday morning I realized it was election day and I would have to go to Puna to vote. I am moving forward, but apparently not looking forward because I do things like set reminders in my phone and forget to look at them.   As we approached Pahoa, a heaviness came over me. We were so close to Kapoho… I won’t say anything about the voting process except that I hope they get a better system in place by November.  Regardless, I am planning to vote absentee at that time.  Standing on line to vote I thought, “Am I still a resident of Puna?”  Living in a rental in Hilo, I feel so far removed. It is something that requires further thinking.

I don’t feel the urge to travel as I did before we lost our home.  This was to be the year we took our first big trip, just the two of us.  I’m not emotionally ready to explore an unfamiliar city and sleep on a bed that isn’t my own.  I know that will change but for now I am content to being here, enjoying a view of Hilo Bay on daily walks with Luna and watching the surfers and young families on weekend mornings at Honolii. 

We are waiting, with all of Puna, to see what the next weeks and months bring, holding our breath that the eruption is winding down, not pausing. Will our dream of walking out on the Kapoho lava flow and seeing the newly formed beaches, surf breaks and warm ponds come true in the next few years?

By Jill Steele

Author "Blood on the Orchids
Owner Hawaiian Magic Tropical Flowers

Lava Land Part 22: Navigating This New Life

By Jill Steele

Author "Blood on the Orchids
Owner Hawaiian Magic Tropical Flowers

Art Therapy at Wailoa Center

This morning I went to a healing art class for lava evacuees.  It would have been healing even without the art, being surrounded by “my people." A counselor and an art expert facilitated us in identifying and addressing our emotions through drawing and color.  The class is free to lava evacuees and will continue through August each Thursday at the Wailoa Center in Hilo from 9:30 am to 11:30 am.  The deadline for registration is August 9 and no pre-registration is required. 

Exploring Hilo

I have experienced many acts of kindness since losing our home to the lava.  My high school friend’s mother, who was like a second mother to me all those years ago, asked, “What can I do?”  I told her I missed the salad bowl they’d sent as a wedding gift and last week we received a beautiful wood replacement bowl.  Now we will continue to think about her as we toss our salads.  Another friend, a sales rep for kitchen product designers, (lucky me, right?) sent a care package containing, amongst other things, kitchen towels with the caption “Seas the Day” with a picture of a mermaid.  

In a way it feels like we have gone back to the time of our dating in Los Angeles, only now we are exploring Hilo and the Hamakua coast.  Joy is creeping back in even though there are times throughout the day when my heart aches for my home and I’m missing daily swims in the warm, clear water of Champagne Pond. I’m sorry for all of you at earlier stages, still struggling with the details of insurance and housing worries.  It will get better if you remain focused on moving forward.  My husband says that one needs to actively make the choice to heal.  Wise words I think and I will keep trying.

By Jill Steele

Author "Blood on the Orchids
Owner Hawaiian Magic Tropical Flowers