Lava Land Part 21: Home

By Jill Steele

Author "Blood on the Orchids
Owner Hawaiian Magic Tropical Flowers

Beautiful anthuriums in our new neighborhood

I’ve realized the key to setting up a home is the kitchen, a bed, a desk and a comfortable chair or two if you are two.  Now that we have those basics (and that's actually the extent of our furniture), our rental is a home.  I’ve resumed baking.  My second try at sourdough bread was better than the first, good enough to give a baguette to a neighbor.  I am still homesick. Some days are better than others but at least now I am back to cooking for family and friends.  I’m looking into replacing my favorite cookbooks.  I’d love to have the digital versions, but most were written before the advent of digitalization.  I’m not sure why, but spicy Mexican chili has become my go to comfort food and somehow I was able to make a pot from memory that my husband said was better than the recipe I usually used.  I hope I can duplicate it the next time I make chili.

I’ve found I don’t care as much about housework, maybe because my brain thinks I’m a guest at this house.  Tonight I danced by myself for the first time while doing the dinner prep. That means something.   I am giving myself permission to feel joy again.

Luna is settling in. This is her new friend Pepper .

I am becoming more capable and less paralyzed by the effort of leaving the house, locking every door and hiding my computer each time I leave, even for a walk in the neighborhood.  For all the years we lived in Kapoho, the only time we locked the door was when we went away for the night, and that was only recently.  For most of those years, we had no key to our house.  This may sound like whining to you but it is an adjustment.

On the positive side, we now live close to town and culture.  This afternoon, my son and I will attend a matinee at the Palace Theater with some other friends who have also lost homes in Kapoho, something that would have been unthinkable just a few short months ago, when it involved a forty-five minute drive one way.  I will continue to look for the light and show my family how to move forward and in moments of weakness, I will continue to voice my fears to my husband, who brings me down to earth again.

By Jill Steele

Author "Blood on the Orchids
Owner Hawaiian Magic Tropical Flowers